Ok, so he wasn't just unhappy. He was pissed. Pissed at whom? Me. Why? Cause I disappointed him with my story direction.
As a writer, I completely understand that the readers are all going to gain something different from a piece of the story. As a writer, I expect negative feedback and less than pleasant critiques...
I'll show you a bit of the letter -- not all -- but some. It just felt *gasp* personal. He startes out saying that he thought my writing was publishable...umm....thanks...kinda knew that already. But then he launches into this -- here goes:
And then I read chapter 24 yesterday and was completely revolted by it. This chapter is totally out of character and totally out of touch with the rest of the story. The only way the Richard of the first 23 chapters would have had sex with the monster Broussard would have been under the influence of drugs and he obviously wasn't. He not only voluntarily had sex with a man he detested, a man who had caused extreme pain to those he loved, but he enjoyed it, said it was the best sex of his life. You expect the reader to believe that because he was 'turned on' he forgot about everything else. The Richard you introduced us to would never have done that. That he did do that means that to me he is now a monster in the same category as Broussard. I now longer care what happens to him. I no longer want him to get back together with Ryan. I especially hope he is never even in the same county as Andrew.
Umm, this is ok to a point -- because it's his opinion and what he's personally understanding. But then there was this:
You've lost me. You destroyed the story by losing control of yourself, by going off on some extreme whim. Maybe you're the one on drugs. My friend encouraged me to go on with the story. He and another friend also nearly gave up after chapter 24. He said the story goes back to the same kind of story it was before, that chapter 24 was an aberration, out of place, overly extreme and really was a mistake, but the story does recover. Tonight I tried to start chapter 25 but after just a few minutes gave up. Your hero is now a villain to me and I just don't want to read any more about him.
And blah, blah, blah....
But OUCH! That kinda hurt. I lost alot of readers after the shift in the story...but most of them trudged along, dealing with the shit that my precious Richard had to go through. The readers who are still with me today -- they've been able to see the point in the horrid events -- or most of them at least.
*GASP*
And he thinks I'm on DRUGS! LOL! It would probably be funny if I'd had something to drink before reading it. Just kidding!
*sigh*
But anyways, for people to think that I lost control of MYSELF and got carried away.....that's a little disconcerting. I knew what I was doing at the time -- and it all made sense.
What was worse...the hubby agreed with the reader, saying that he thought he was right about the shift in the story. (Not that hubby will actually read the entire story because of all of the HOT man-sex, but he knows enough to comment on) I wanted to shoot darts at hubby's ass last night.
I know, I know -- thick skin in the writing biz. But still, it shook my newly acquired oh-so-confident feeling when writing. Am I going to wonder about everything now?
Am I going to hold back so I don't offend people? As much as I want to -- I know that is the last thing I need to do. I did it with my first book because I thought people wouldn't be able to handle the graphic content, then ending up fucking myself up completely. Now I can't even get a decent rewrite out of it without totally changing the story again.
*sigh again -- yes, I know I do that alot*
Feeling like I've shed a little blood in battle. The scar will probably linger for a long time to come -- and might even be a hindrance in the next battle.......
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